So my wife and I had an interesting conversation at dinner.  She recently purchased some of those fingerless gloves that have a mitten flap.  She says they look like shark fins when they're flapped up.  What follows is a truncated transcript:

Steph: I want to fight crime with my shark gloves.  What kind of powers can I have.

Jim: (Befuddled laughter)

Steph:  I know! I can throw portobello mushrooms at evil doers like frisbees that thump on them.  What do they do when they hit people.

Jim: (Smiles)

Steph: I need an author.

Jim: (Continues to smile)

Steph: (Tapping Jim's arm) I NEED an author.

Jim: Do you want something gruesome or fun?

Steph: FUN!

Jim: (Pausing to think.)  The mushrooms could burst into spore and generate more mushrooms on the evildoer's body.

Steph: Yeah!  And I would only give them the antidote if they turn over a new leaf.  But I need a battle cry when I throw the mushrooms.  What should I say?

Jim: Port you!

Steph: (High fives Jim).  Yes.  That's it.

This is one of the many reasons why I love my wife very much.